I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You smell like stripper and shame
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
