hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
false alarm, still single
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