Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
