like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
