I wish life had little blips of pornography
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
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if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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