I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Mom said you looked used
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
