So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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