But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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