Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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