Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
