Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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