somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
