We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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