bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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