Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
