yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
