We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize