What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
