You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
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Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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