is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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