I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
