There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
