I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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