I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
