I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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