No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
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he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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