im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
