I'm lost and stupid without you.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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