guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
