i barfeds in our rink
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
