Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
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well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
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It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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