this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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