hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
