Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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