I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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