I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
