If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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