scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
