there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
