dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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