It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
