My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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