Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
