they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
