Will you blow on my dice?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
