You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize