i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i drank out of a bidet.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Come share oat with me in your robe
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
