I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
