Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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