Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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