I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
