no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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