question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
