He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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