i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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