something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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