i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
