Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She bit a glass in half.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
