i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
