go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
